... about my friend, Charlotte.
A few years ago, my world consisted of ministry (home, family, friends, hospitality, community, outreach, online ministry, writing articles for Christian women's publications, card and letter-writing, food, etc.); now, I live in a bubble (half a week at home and half a week at work).
A week ago today I discovered that my friend, Charlotte, had passed away a few days prior and that her memorial service had been held the day before. I didn't even know she had been sick.
The last time I had talked to Charlotte was six-months previous and, at that time, she had requested prayer for her body. There was something wrong, but, up to that point, the doctors hadn't been able to give a diagnosis. Of course, I prayed for Charlotte and thought of her often, but, not one time after that did I call or follow up with a visit to see how things were going. The woman died of pancreatic cancer.
Her family tried to reach me after her death on Friday, but I was at work. I didn't recognize their cell number (figured it was a telemarketer) and didn't call them back.
I feel terrible that I wasn't there for Charlotte (or her family) during, what had to be, the roughest and most difficult time of her life on this earth. I, mean, I'm still having a hard time believing that our last contact was six months ago. It seems like just a few weeks ago.
I did think about Charlotte. In fact, the two weeks previous to her death, her name came to my mind multiple times. I knew I needed to call or go see her and...I would, I thought..."soon", but "soon" was too late.
In the old days, the minute the Lord would lay someone on my heart, I would react. I would run by to see them, give them a call, or do whatever was necessary to make that contact and be obedience to the voice of the Lord. This time...I missed it.
And that's not the first time I've missed it lately. Actually, that's the second time that I failed to be obedient to the voice of the Lord in as many weeks. I've missed it two times in a row THIS MONTH that I am fully aware of.
Something's got to change and it's got to be within me.
I do feel bad that I wasn't there for Charlotte, but I don't grieve for her. I have absolutely no doubt of where she is today. No one loved Jesus more than Charlotte did and, even in all her human frailty, no one sought to seek and please Him more. He was her life and her total focus. And, in thinking about that, it just hit me that, yes, in my own human frailty, I missed it...I wasn't there...but He was. What joy Charlotte must be experiencing at this moment just to be in His presence!
Pray for me, Ladies. I've got to get out of this bubble that I live in and open my spiritual eyes and ears. There are a lot of hurting people out there and my heart's desire is to, truly, be the heart, hands, and feet of Jesus on this earth. I need to reevaluate my priorities, be sensitive to my Father's voice, follow His leading, wisdom, and direction at all times, be available for His service...anytime...anywhere, and be available to others, as He leads. This will only happen as I develop a heart more fully devoted to Him by spending time in His Word and seeking Him in every area.
"Draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to you... (James 4:8).
