My Wedding Ring

My Wedding Ring

My wedding ring is simple, but it's got a complicated story.

We bought our rings back in 1988 from my husband's cousin who is a jeweler in Kansas City. (We actually picked them out at my husband's uncle's kitchen table.) John's ring was a plain gold band; mine a gold band with three small diamonds across the top. At the time we bought them, my husband promised that for our 5th-year wedding anniversary he would buy me a "real" set of rings. At our 5th-year wedding anniversary, he said he'd shoot for the 10th, at the 10th he said he'd shoot for the 20th, at the 20th he said he'd shoot for the 25th. When the 25th came and went...I gave up. I knew it wasn't going to happen.

What I didn't realize was that, because of all that, for years, I had been allowing an underlying bitterness to develop within myself towards my husband and it was not pretty. I loved him, but I always felt angry towards him...aggitated...irritated...and I was always hoping against hope that those long-awaited wedding rings would materialize. I was so busy thinking about the rings that I had lost focus about the marriage.

Around year 7 I lost one of the diamonds in my ring. At that point I put it away in my jewelry box and didn't think much more about it. Over the years, every now and again when I'd be in the box to look for something else, I'd pull it out and try it on. After the first or second time of trying it on, it no longer fit. After that I never tried it on again.

Fast forward...

July 4, 2015 - I had gone to my jewelry box to find my patriotic earrings. I wanted to wear them to our daughter and son-in-law's where we had been invited for lunch. When I opened the lid to my jewelry box, there was the ring...ugly gaping hole where the diamond had been missing for years..and all. I immediately thought, "I wish I had a wedding ring."

In my spirit I heard, "You do have a wedding ring."

I paused and thought, "But it's broken."

I heard, "Fix it!"

"But...it doesn't fit!"

"Try it on!"

So I did! And it fit!!!

All of a sudden my heart was overflowing! All the anger and bitterness melted away and I realized what a ninny I been all those years. It wasn't about the ring! It was about what the ring represented! It was about the marriage! OUR marriage and all that we've been through during the past 27+ years that we've been married. As I thought about all of this, I had an idea! And then I became very, VERY excited!

I wore the ring for a couple of days...missing diamond and all...but my husband didn't notice it. I contacted his cousin...the one that we had purchased the ring from back in 1988...and asked him how much he would charge to repair it. He said that there was no way that he could give me an estimate without taking a look at the ring and told me to mail it to him...which I did...but I didn't tell my husband any of this.

Instead, I wrote him a 5 or 6-page letter telling him of all I had gone through over those silly, non-exisitant wedding rings, apologizing for the underlying bitterness and anger, and offering him forgiveness and freedom of having to come up with the long ago, promised set of wedding rings. I didn't even want them anymore!

As I told him...THIS is the ring that represents US. THIS is the ring that we picked out at his uncle's table, THIS is the ring that we picked up in a place that was very near and dear to our hearts in the early days, and THIS is THE ring that he put on my finger on our wedding day! THIS is the ring that I want and, even if he did get me another set at this point, I wouldn't wear them!

Long story short, John's cousin did a beautiful job of fixing the ring and, I don't know if I should say this or not, but he didn't even charge me to do it. The only thing he asked was that I pick the ring up in person...which I did...without John knowing about it until later. And the cousin has no idea how much this meant to me and what a huge part he has played in a, nearly, 30-year-old story!

When John noticed the ring on my finger, I gave him the letter that I had written. Needless to say, he was TOTALLY overwhelmed. We both cried and rejoiced in all that the Lord has done, and IS doing, in our marriage.

The point is...it wasn't about the ring. In reality, it never was! It was about broken promises and unforgiveness. And now it's ALL about the marriage, the power of forgiveness, and being content with what you've got! I'm so thankful for the ring that I've got! And I'm even more thankful for all that it represents!

Until Next Time...
~Rebecca