Today.
Today is one of those hard days. One of those too-little-sleep-the-night-before, haven't-had-a-shower-since-yesterday-morning, am-still-in-yesterday's-dirty-clothes, dirt-in-my-hair-from-cleaning-out-the-chicken-pen, my-family-is-really-hurting kind of days.
But today is also one of the perfectly beautiful, spring days. It's one of those the-sun-is-shining, the-grass-is-green, the-birds-are-singing, the-purple-irises-are-blooming, my-family-is-rejoicing, it's-a-good-day-to-just-go-someplace, kind of days.
I saw her last night...late...9:30...10:00...until around 11:00, I guess. Her face was flushed red, and she lay still in the bed and slept. A deep, restful sleep. I hadn't seen her like that in a long time. Pain, you know. Pain and restlessness. There was always something else to do. And she had waited on him...for months. And, finally, he had come to see her. She could rest now...and she was doing just that. Resting.
When I got ready to leave I kissed her on the forehead and told her I loved her. Her skin was cool. Really cool. And she didn't stir like she normally did when I got ready to leave. My heart ached just a bit. Oh! To just have her say, in her gentle way, "Good night, Darlin'! I'll see you later!" But, no. She was resting.
I called this morning to see how the night had gone. Not good. She had been unresponsive since about...9:30...last night. Arrangements were being made to take her to the hospital. Still wearing yesterday's clothes...no shower...foul-smelling, I'm sure, and still smelling of fowl...dirty straw and cobwebs in my hair from cleaning out the hen house...I went...grabbing one of those beautiful purple irises from our flower bed on the way. They're her favorites, you know...purple irises are. :)
She was still lying there. Just like I had seen her the night before. Her boys...four of them...all there...another niece from the other side of the family...her closest friend...and others...in and out. Each one talking to her in turn...each hoping for a response...but there was none. I even held the purple iris right close under her nose and told her to drink in the smell of purple. Her breath came faster...deeper...just for a moment. Just like it did in response to each one's offering in turn. We believe she could hear us. But, other than that...no response.
We waited. We waited for the call. Yes, the paperwork was in place, the room readied. An ambulance was on it's way to transport. When they arrived, it wasn't easy. She was unresponsive and could not help at all. One more strong back...just in time...and she was loaded.
Where it goes from here? At this point only God knows. But, be it minutes, hours, days, or weeks, of one thing I am sure...today is a hard day. A beautiful woman that has been a pillar of strength and encouragement to countless others over the years lays silent...hovering somewhere between life and life eternal. No more uplifting words of encouragement to sooth a confused and angry spirit. No more words of good advice from one who's been there my entire life to cheer me up, slap me down when I needed it, and cheer me on when no one else would. No, that beautiful woman is soon to meet the Lover of her soul...face-to-face. Perhaps she is already there with Him...talking things over...making their plans for the rest of eternity.
Yet, today is a perfect day! Because it's one of those the-sun-is-shining, the-grass-is-green, the-birds-are-singing, the-purple-irises-are-blooming, my-family-is-rejoicing, it's-a-good-day-just-to-go-someplace, kind of days.
No matter when you go, my dear, loving, and most precious aunt, remember that I love you with all my heart! And wherever you go...whether it be with Jesus now, or, God-willing, back home to Liberal...
wherever your journey takes you...my love travels with you! Pleasant journey, Aunt! I love you! <3
Please keep my Aunt Linda, her boys, their wives, her grandchildren, and the rest of our family in your prayers. No matter what happens today, I'm sure that more hard, yet perfect, days lie ahead for all of us. God bless all here!
All My Love,
~Rebecca